


To vape or not to vape

by trashuu



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, Kinda, M/M, Vaping, Weird POV, everyone is out of character ngl, idk this is highkey a mess, nazuna owos and uwus a lot, selling vapes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 14:55:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20602664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashuu/pseuds/trashuu
Summary: A crack fic in which Hajime Shino is tired of being broke and decides to sell vapes. My friends requested this.





	To vape or not to vape

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyyy if you're underage don't sell drugs or vapes or alcohol, if you want some money try getting a part time job. Also sorry if the pov makes no sense,,,I wanted it to lowkey be like Tomoya was telling a story?? Idk its weird but anyways I hope you enjoy

“So how do you know Hajime Shino?” The officer inquired.  
“He’s my best friend and we’re in the same unit!” I, Tomoya Mashiro, said.  
“Do you know how any of this started?” The officer asked.   
“Well yeah of course I do. It all started about four months ago.” 

✽Flashback noises✽

One day after school we were practicing our solo songs. Once it got to Hajime’s song he froze up. That had been happening a lot lately so Nazuna decided to give him a little pep talk, which helped cause he started actually singing his song.   
“Happy Coming Tea Time~!” He finished his song with his signature shota smile but right as the music faded out his smile turned to a frown. I was probably the only person to notice but even then I didn’t think much of it.   
“OwOkay my babies uwu I’m treating uwus to some burgies for luwunch!” Nazuna, the leader of our unit, announced. 

The walk to Mcdonalds was fine, we all talked about how excited we were for the upcoming concert. However once we had sat down and began to enjoy our burgers, Hajime snapped. 

“I'M TIRED OF BEING BROKE!” He screeched. Everyone in the “restaurant”, including us looked at him in shock. 

“Hajime are yowouwu owokay?” Nazuna sounded understandably concerned. Sadly we never got an answer from him that day, he had yeeted as soon as Nazuna asked if he was alright. 

“Wow.” Was all Mitsuru, the irrelevant Ra✽bits member, could say.   
Honestly after that day none of us had seen or heard from Hajime for a week. We were all worried sick because the concert was approaching fast but luckily he popped up the day before so we were able to practice as a group one last time. Then as if the situation couldn’t get worse, Hajime said he was quitting Ra✽bits temporarily. 

“YOU’RE QUITTING?? WHY?” Nazuna asked, with no uwus in his question at all which meant he was dead serious. 

“I dont deserve to be in a unit if I’m broke as fuck.” We all gasped at his usage of a swear word. 

“Bruh moment, Hajime just swore!” Mitsuru’s not so irrelevant ass announced. 

“Hajime you can’t leave! We love you, poor or not.” I put a hand on his shoulder and gave him that typical bishounen smile in hopes to persuade him into staying. It did not work at all, he slapped me and walked off mumbling about vapes. 

“You’ll always have us if you ever decide to be an idol again!” Nazuna yelled. 

After that Hajime disappeared again. We had hoped to see him in the crowd during the concert but according to some classmates he wasn’t there at all. This time it had been two months since any of us had seen Hajime around school. Alledgey Anzu saw him in the halls a few times but that didn’t make any sense. How could he have ignored all of us for two fricking months? Then one day I heard Nazuna crying in one of the bathrooms. 

“What’s wrong Nazuna?”   
“AAAAAA TOWOMOWOYAAAA!!!!!!!” He was sobbing his eyes out. Mitsuru’s relevant ass manifested into the bathroom and began explaining.

“Hajime is selling vapes around school to make money but due to his increase in customers he’s been skipping classes. Nazuna being the big daddy that he is feels as though he’s failed at quote unquote raising Hajime.” Mitsuru then disappeared into thin air, never to be seen again (We see him again it's just he so...irrelevant.)

“It’ll be okay Nazuna!! Hajime is smart but also babey so he’s gonna come back to us eventually!” I would’ve hugged Nazuna but I hate his hugs lowkey. 

“Tomoya you’re Hajime’s love interest- I mean best friend, why haven't you tried to convince his rabbit ass to come back?” Nazuna’s voice was very deep and serious, for a second I almost could believe he was a third year. I sighed. 

“I haven’t seen or been in contact with him for months. I apologize for not putting much effort into this.” I was about to leave but Hajime walked in with one of the scariest third years ever, Kuro. 

“So what flavor do you want?” Hajime hadn't acknowledged our presence at all.   
“The spaghetti one please.” Never in my life did I ever think I would see Kuro Kiryu buy a fricking spaghetti vape.   
Hajime handed the box vape to Kuro and he handed over the money. Nazuna had finally gotten himself together and cleared his throat. 

“Kuro, should I tell Keito you’ve been buying vapes from a first year?” Nazuna winked at me.   
“Oh uh...all of Akatsuki vapes so I doubt Keito would care. Plus Hajime has sold to Keito before.” Kuro does the little peace sign with his hand and leaves.   
“H-Hajime? Really?” I felt tears sting the corners of my eyes.   
“Yeah, I gotta make money somehow. Welp I should leave now see ya around Tomoya.” and just like that he was gone again. 

✽Flashback ends✽ 

“So you’ve filed a missing person’s report on someone who you know is alive and fine.” The officer gave me a disgusted look. I nodded.   
“Leave.” He said sternly.   
“B-But sir what about Hajime selling vapes!! Isn't that illegal?”   
“You have zero evidence, now please leave or I will call your parents.” He said. I was furious but simply got up and left.   
After the fuckery at the police station I went home. I was laying in my bed when suddenly my phone started ringing.   
“Please don't be Mitsuru…” I whispered as I answered.   
“T-Tomoya…” I knew that voice. It was the man, the myth, the legend himself, Hajime Shino.  
“Hajime!! Where are you? Why are you calling me from an unknown number?” I frantically asked.   
“I’m sorry Tomoya. I failed you and I failed Ra✽bits.” He sounded so broken, I wished that I could’ve been there to hug him.  
“You didn’t fail us! We’ve missed you but we understand that you needed to put yourself before the group. We will always support you no matter what!!” I screamed.   
“T-Thank you Tomoya...I’m at McDonalds...can you please come here, I want to see you so bad.” After he said that I didn’t hesitate at all, I ran to that McDonalds as fast as my little rabbit legs could allow me.   
“HAJIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Once I spotted him near the crusty payphone I shouted his name as if I had seen him in years.  
“I missed you so much.” I hugged him tightly.   
“I missed you too Tomoya...or should I call you Towomowoya?” He laughed thinking he was so fucking funny.   
“Nazuna would actually die if he heard you mock him like that.” I poked his cheek.  
“I’m ready to come back to Rabbits.” Hajime’s smile was so bright but I just had to correct him.  
“You mean Ra✽bits.”   
“O-Oh yeah sorry...I’m ready to come back to Ra✽bits.” 

Later that day we both went to visit Nazuna and Mitsuru. We told them that Hajime wanted to come back, obviously they were happy to hear that. However Hajime admitted that he would still be selling vapes around school. 

“Be careful.” Was all Nazuna told him.   
“Of course!”

Eventually Hajime started popping up at unit practice more often, he started to really learn how to juggle his idol career and vape selling. We all agreed that as long as Hajime was happy we would be happy too. Everything was wonderful. 

Though like ninety percent of the stories in this god forsaken franchise there’s a plot twist. Hajime had secretly been working on his own brand of vapes throughout highschool so by his last year at Yumenosaki he was able to live a stable life and go to college. 

“Where’s Hajime Shino now?” you’re probably not wondering. Well he’s a millionaire now and I, Tomoya Mashiro, am his husband. We still talk to Nazuna and Mitsuru and everyone from our idol days. 

Okay I lied, we’re just dating and it's only been three years since we graduated but Hajime’s vape business is doing alright!! I think that without Hajime snapping that day we wouldn’t have such a happy life right now, so in a weird way I’m glad he was broke and decided to sell vapes. 

The end

**Author's Note:**

> sowwy for the abrupt ass ending, have a nice day/night


End file.
